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Friday: "Oh minister, I do wish you wouldn’t use words like bribery…" "How would you describe these payments, Humphrey?" "Oh well, that’s really quite simple. Retainers, personal donations, special discounts, miscellaneous outgoings… managerial surcharge, operating costs, ex-gratia payments, agents’ fees, political contributions, extra-contractual payments… introduction fees, commission fees, managements’ expenses, administrative overheads and advances against profit sharing… "And how are these payments made?" "Well, anything from a numbered account in a Swiss Bank to a fistful of used oncers slipped under the door of the gents." – Sir Humphrey Appleby educates the Minister Yes, Minister, "The Moral Dimension" If ...